A little background about me and my family, I am knocking on thirties door, married to an amazing woman, we have primary custody of our daughter, and we have a son on the way. I am in a position that, five years ago, I never thought I would be in. It has taken a lot of time, prayer, and biting of the tongue, but now, I have what most fathers never think they will have, primary custody of a child. Like my wife has told me since we have been dating, "evil can not always win, it will catch up sooner or later."

    If you have had a mutual divorce, and put the needs of the child(ren) in front of your own anger and attitude issues, then I congratulate you and wish you the best with your life. Continue to work on your ability to co-parent and raise a child with a deeper understanding of the way adults should act.

Unfortunately, my divorce was not pleasant in the least. My divorce had more mud slinging, name calling, and low blows than the Trump v. Clinton debates. It was bad. While I was going through the divorce I was so stubborn and angry that I couldn't see at the time that it was a blessing (I mean really, who can see that it is a blessing at the time). You can ask anyone that knows me, I am stubborn. I don't just mean a little stubborn, I'm talking about stubborn as a mule. For me to admit defeat and that I'm wrong has come easier with age, but at the time of my divorce, not so much. I really couldn't see at the time that my daughter was the only true victim in the divorce. Sure, I was butt hurt, but I wasn't a victim. I didn't have my parents tore apart. I just lost a relationship and was salty because it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. You are the one being hurt when you are two years old and you are taken from everything that you have known your entire life and placed around a bunch of people you have never met before. You are the one being hurt when you are bounced from house to house to house. You are the one being hurt when one parent talks about the other parent in front of you and tries to turn you against them.

     If statements like, "you'll never see your son/daughter again; you'll see your son/daughter when you pay child support; I'm going to call the cops (even though you have done nothing wrong); you're a piece of crap, dead beat, etc" have ever been told to you then I ask that you continue to follow this blog. I am not expecting money out of this, if it happens it would be nice, but I am wanting to fill a void of helping the father understand his roles in a post divorce world. If I can keep one person from making some of the stupid mistakes I made then it will be well worth it.  If you know a father, mother, cousin, whomever that may find it beneficial to read this please share. This if my first time ever blogging, and I'm sure it is evident, but I feel like we can make this a success if we all share. Just so everyone knows, I plan on posting something at least twice a week  and you all can contact me at pemonk1987@gmail.com.